bAbY's bLaBs

Come home to me...

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:54:34 GMT

If you're reading this, I've gotta tell you that I need you so badly.

I want to let you know that I want you so badly, I want you back right here right now...

I can't go on without you. I can't...

I want to be with you forever. And it means a very very long time...

Please come back sayang...

2nd March 2009

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:17:27 GMT

Hey ... Happy birthday to you. I don't know what should I do, so I called you after work to wish you today. I thought for so long on my way back, really felt so emberassed and shy calling you. I really am scared that I will just keep quiet and just hang up the phone. But, with all the courage, I put bad thoughts aside. Because, I've really gotta wish you or I will regret. I was eager to hear your voice. I missed you so much. I wanted to know if you're ok, and whether you're safe in Penang, how you're gonna celebrate your birthday, or just whether you had taken lunch or... But you just told me that it was like any other ordinary day...

I stil remembered what you told me last time... You love cheesecakes, a particular blueberry flavored one. You told me last time to bake you blueberry cheesecake for your birthday. I looked forward everyday. As your birth date appeares nearer, I was really excited... So excited until suddenly you didn't care and I couldn't take it and I asked for a break... A break which I so regret til now...

I so badly want to celebrate your birthday with you. I want to spend the evening with you... Just me and you, alone, far far away. But I guess, it's really too late...

I so wanted to tell you that James is... Nah, nevermind. I don't know if it's important to you...

Life goes on...

Can't Get You Out...

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 12:51:32 GMT

Can't get you out of my head!!! Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Can't believe I stil like the selfish you, the irresponsible you... Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Finish swimming and stil can't forget you!!! What so good about you that other people don't have?!?!?! I'm so BLIND!!!

Questions I don't know the answers to right now...

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 09:17:18 GMT

Where do I go from here?

Who should I turn to?

What do I gotta do to make you love me?

Why does it have to be this way?

How can I hide my tears and sorrow?

How do I find another you?

When will I stop thinking about you?

Why do I feel so helplessly devoted to you?

What would happen if tomorrow never comes?

When will I see you again?

How can I tell you that I love you?

How do I turn back time?

Will you stil love me for the rest of my life?

What can I do to make you love me?

How am I suppose to live without you?

HOW?

WHEN?

WHY?

WHICH?

WHO?

WHERE?

WHAT?

Without you...

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 13:06:30 GMT

Life without you by my side is not worth living in at all. It's dull, lonely, cold... I'm lost without you. I'm with no direction. But I've made up my mind, and I know I can't turn back. Life must go on�

Everywhere I go, every person I see, reminds me of you. How I envy those who are happy with their love ones now. The way I envy them used to be how others envy us. But now I'm without you. Empty, meaningless... But life must go on...

Tell me, why did it happen? Why is it so ugly? Why did it happen to us? Why do we have to end this way? Why you have to choose your life the way it is, leaving me all by my own? It hurts a day living without you. It hurts so badly. But I know life must go on

I wondered� Have you ever even loved me before? Have you ever love me the way I love you? Have you ever think of me the way I thought of you? Have you ever wonder what was on my mind, or in my heart, the way I thought and wonder of yours? Have you even taken a glance at what I've done for us to be together? It hurts not seeing you, and a day not seeing you, I cried so hard because I can't help it. But I know life must go on� Without you.

What went wrong?

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:46:57 GMT

Today was a total disaster!!! It's one of the ugliest day of my life since the day we've been together!!! What went wrong?!?

At this time now, I wish I could talk it out with you, to clear things up. To just talk... I just wanna apologize, but what reason for?

I wanna let you know I love you, and to have your own time by yourself, to distress from your work, to have more rest that you really needed, but why you think I want a break up?

I'm tempted to wanna break free from this, I want to end it... but why my love for you is so strong I couldn't let you go?

You promise me, we will be OK. But what happen today?

I don't want us to fight, but why did it happened? Why?

WHAT WENT WRONG?!?! TELL ME!!!

I hate to fight!!! I don't wanna get into an argument!!! But you're not patient enough to listen... Only blame...

I don't wanna think of it... It's over. What's past, let be it. But why only what you say that is ringing in my mind now? Why is it only of you that I could think of right now? Why?!?!?

Why did you change suddenly? Why you aren't the way you used to be? What went wrong?

Everyone have problems... Not you alone... But why choose me and put all the blame unto?

I'd rather...

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:22:38 GMT

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you,                                  than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,                                 than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together,                                 than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection                      they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you,                                  than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,                                 than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together,                                 than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,

I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)

I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo... who holds my heart

When I wish upon a Star...

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:34:56 GMT

I wish you...

1) Could hold me in your arms right now

2) Can call or sms me once in awhile when you're free, even without a reason, or just to say, "hey honey, I'm thinking of you, I'm missing you, I need you badly. Just call to..." If only you have the time to think back how you were when you're with me last time. You always have time, or find time at least...

3) Wouldn't be so busy with work. Just hope you're taking a short break everytime you overwork so that you won't be over pressured and strained yourself too much

4) And I could be somewhere far far away from here to RELAX right now...

5) Were like how I first met you... (I regretted when I said, I want you to be how I imagined you to be, when I know you were great being who you were before you start being like how you are now... Sigh)

6) Meant whatever you said to me last time... If you still remember?

7) Wouldn't mention about my past or my current others, because I am with you and you alone... (It irritates me when you make me think about other people or other matters, but not YOURS or OUR matter when I'm with you. Why?)

8) Stay sweet the way you are for now, forever and for always... for me alone.

9) Could put more smile on your face and not being so cool. (I hate to think about what's on your mind when you are putting on a cool face, and I hate it when I don't know the answer when I look at your face...)

I WISHED I'LL BE YOURS... NOW AND FOREVER!!!

Bon Voyage, my dear housemate...

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 18:57:40 GMT

Dom!!! In another 3 minutes, you'll be boarding the plane to Boston... Feels wierd without you at home... Feels like it's empty without your presence...

Good luck in your interview there yea. Enjoy yourself and do send my lovely regards to Jia Hui...

I MISS YOU DOM LUK... MISSING YOU BADLY NOW!!!

FASTER COME HOME!!!

Bad news...

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 12:32:33 GMT

I was chatting with one of my Kuantan friend, Michelle Tai on MSN when I saw her message: "Why BaBy?" ... I was jokingly asking when she will get married. Her reply was: "My bf passed away 3 months ago, if not I'd have been married by now." OMG!!! I was shocked to find out about her boyfriend's lost. I grieved for her as well. <Pheartab, R.I.P...> Michelle, I'm sorry to hear about Pheartab. I know it's hard for you. But dear, life must go on. And I hope you will live life the fullest. All the best to you...

Early this morning, I sent a good night wish to Vibesh through sms, when I found out yet another shocking news... He told me that he has only 3 months to go and then I won't hear from him every again. He won't tell me the reason until I forced him sms after sms this evening. That was after I promised him I wouldn't call him again, or cry about it, or feel sorry or even see him again. To my dismay, he got cancer!!! Arghh!!! What happened? When he found out about it, was too late. According to the doctor, he had yet another 3 more months to live. Gosh...

Vibesh: "(1) Why no "muah"?... (2) Try toying harder with my feelings... (3) I know you got a boyfriend already. Hope you'll be happy with him... (4) I still love you. You're the one who don't wanna accept it or listen to me... (5) I'm on my way to work. OK, promise me you won't be sorry, or cry after I tell you, or call me or see me ever again... (6) I just want to tell you I got cancer, I have 3 months to live. Only my mom and dad knows. Sham (his boss, Shamsul Yusof) doesn't know, no one knows... (6) I don't need the special care and treatment. I think it's better if we don't meet anymore... "

Gosh... I can't continue... Reading those sms just make me wanna burst out in tears!!! How can that possibly happen to a 24 year old sweet guy like him? What went wrong? How did all this happen? Why? Why? WHY?

I spent the whole evening thinking of Vibesh's words. I felt terribly sorry for him. He was kind enough to let me know of his situation.

God have mercy...